You'll have to humour me here, because this post might make me seem a bit dippy. Okay, even more dippy..?
I try to be a sophisticated and professional author on my blog, (ahem, mostly, I have no control when there are kitties involved,) but mostly I don’t feel like an internationally published author. I'm here in my little house, engaged with my current story and fielding the doubts and worries, and the successes don't feel real. I look at the books on my shelves with my name on, and I can’t fathom it. Really, I’ll pick up a book and I can’t believe this thing is something I’ve created. It's not like we don’t celebrate each and every achievement I make, we do. (Any excuse, and it’s a good excuse. ;) But somehow I can’t feel it sinking in, fully, ever. I’m still dazed and confused and amazed that this has even happened for me. Even if I never sell another story, I’m eternally grateful to the editors who liked my work and gave me a break, and the readers who enjoyed one story, and bought another.
I see other authors who are so polished, who take it in their stride and live up to it, but I confess I don’t feel like that. Keep in mind I don’t even get to see most of my books on the shelves in bookshops. I’m hoping to make it over to the RWA conference this year, and I think that will do me a lot of good because I’ll get to meet some of my editors and my agent. I may faint, as it finally sinks in that I actually did sell a story, or two. :-)
Anyway, what brought this confession on, you may be asking. Today the postman brought a package from Penguin, and inside was something I'd never seen before. A catalogue. It’s for Summer 2008 and it includes my novel, RECKLESS. I got all hot and cold at once when I saw it, and narrowly avoided tears. Yeah, I know, how daft. But things like this bring it home to me, and I'm kind of stunned. I read the "sales points" and I thought, "Is that really about me?"
I scanned the page to show my Mum and Dad :o} so if you're curious about these things, you can see it here.
Okay, I’ll try to get back to being a sensible grown-up ASAP. Promise.